Grammar
So here are a couple of my attempts at Grammar B style of writing, first a labyrinthine sentence and then writing in a list:
I cannot explain effectively to anyone who hasn't taught--anyone who hasn't faced the challenge of grabbing and holding the attention of over thirty 12-year-old pre-teens--what it's like to stand before the classroom, heart pounding slightly more than usual and moisture starting to spread in my armpits, trying to decide what to say now, what to do now while Andy's over in one corner picking at his nose trying to make it bleed so he can take the hall pass and go to the bathroom (and thus flee the prison that is his seat), while Mariam's turned around talking in low tones to the girl behind her who--bless her heart--is trying to at least pretend to listen to the lecture, while I can clearly see that Zac has drifted off into some daydream and is no longer with me, his chin resting in the palm of his hands while his eyes stare out onto the soccer practice field outside the window, while Barbara hunches over a piece of notebook paper on which I know she's not writing down highlights from the lecture but instead a note she intends at some point to subtly pass across the room to her friend Tessa, while Paige (who is definitely not even pretending to pay attention) makes eyes at John as if he were some great catch (which, quite honestly, he is not).
things in my desk drawer:
- rubber bands of various sizes
- paper clips, again of various sizes (including some monster butterfly clips)
- a box of staples
- a roll of tape (but no tape dispenser)
- pads of small post-it notes
- a punch card from Eistein's bagels (that matches another punch card in my wallet and one more in my desk at home, none of which are fully punched)
- thumbtacks, some pointed menacingly upwards as if they were waiting for my innocent fingers to come within range
- spare change for the vending machines
- Colgate toothpaste and a worn toothbrush
- a "vanity cloth" to wipe off the smudges on my iPhone's screen
- a travel-sized bottle of Advil
- Tylenol Sinus medication
- empty envelopes
- Listerine breath strips
- a financial statement from some investment accounts
- discarded, too-small USB flash drives
- a bottle of whiteout that must, by this point, be completely dried up
So what are your efforts at writing in Grammar B style? Post your efforts in the comments and feel free to comment on my efforts or on others' efforts.
