Why the hate? A list
Here's the list I've created for Friday's assignment:
Spiders - villains or victims?
It has come to my attention (well, it came a long time ago, but really - who's keeping track?) that a good majority of people in this world are deathly afraid of spiders. I've found this to be utterly absurd - I mean, these little guys are not even an inch long, yet people will flee in abject terror at their slightest proximity! Somehow our society has learned to tolerate the presence of clowns, mimes, and other demons of the underworld with a sick kind of bemused pleasure, yet these little friends of Gaia are hated with more intensity than a Trekkie at a Star Wars convention. Attempting to understand this sad commentary on the state of our society (as well as the loss of what should be a rich and harmonious relationship), I have attempted to compile a list of all the reasons people fear our little arachnid brethren.
1. "They're everywhere!"
Clearly, this seems to be the most universally accepted reason for hating spiders. But then again, grass is everywhere too. Are you gonna decorate your Halloween pumpkins with that?
2. "They've got all those horrible legs!"
I'm from California people. If you want to see some terrifying legs just head to Laguna Beach on Senior Citizen's Day. Put on some pants, Grandpa!
3. "They're everywhere!"
This one keeps popping up, just to warn you. As soon as one little spider appears in a room, people will start to scream this incessantly. Everywhere, folks? Really?
4. "They've got deadly mandibles of doom!"
I bet half of these people don't even know what a mandible is.
5. "They're everywhere!"
You really can't get over this, can you?
6. "They're poisonous!"
OK, now this one seems like a legitimate fear at first. Until you realize that it's not a black widow you're looking at; it's a dirty patch of fur from your mangy cat. Now THAT is a scary animal.
7. "They're everywhere!"
Scientific fact: you are never more than three feet away from a spider at any given time.
8. "They'll eat my pets!"
Because apparently pet houseflies are all the rage these days.
9. "They're everywhere!"
Oh put a sock in it, dearie.
10. "They're UGLY!!!"
Look kids, I hate to say it, but this is just unfair. Are we really so shallow that we judge our animal friends based solely on their looks? Your friend Mr. Platypus is venomous too, but just because he looks like the love-child of Mr. Beaver and Daisy Duck you think he's adorable - is this fair? It's what's on the inside that counts people. If you got to know spiders a little better, I bet you'd be surprised to find that they're people just like you and me.
And let's face it sweetie - you're no spring chicken yourself.